Where Wilt Thou Lead Me?
by westwingnut221
Summary: During the Santos campaign Josh faces some old demons. Will Donna be willing to be there for him? Post 2162 Votes.
1. Chapter 1

"Where Wilt Thou Lead Me?"

By

**Author's Note: I've been re-watching Season 6 and 7 and this jumped into my mind and wouldn't go away until I wrote it down. This is after 2162 Votes and before the awful interview in The Ticket. We'll see how much it veers from Canon as I write it.**

**The only beta is me, so any inaccuracies are mine and only mine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The West Wing or any of the characters. I'm just doing this to kill time and amuse myself. Please don't sue me.**

**Prologue**

He was pleased he'd managed to hold it together this long, but his resolve was fading fast. His hands were getting shakier by the minute and his mouth was as dry as the Sahara on an August afternoon. The Congressman waved to the adoring crowd, but Josh could only hear the sirens in his head getting louder and louder. This was not good. How the hell had he gotten himself into this situation? Why hadn't he said anything? He'd been an idiot and was now paying the very high price. There was nothing he could do as his knees gave way and the sidewalk rose up to meet his pale and sweaty face.

**Two days earlier.**

"We need to make a stop in Virginia. Vinick's making a stop there next week and it would be nice if we could get there first. See if we can get the town hall in Arlington or Richmond."

Edie grabbed her phone and started making the necessary calls.

Congressman Santos pushed aside a stack of folders and dropped into a chair.

"How's Leo doing in Oregon?"

Josh ran a hand through his hair. "Great. I talked to him and hour ago. As long as he doesn't mention his dislike for green beans we'll be fine."

Santos figured this was a reference to something bigger, but he didn't want to wade into the mire of that story today, so he simply nodded.

Edie glanced at Josh and covered her phone with one hand so she could speak. "Josh, the town halls in Arlington and Richmond are both booked, but there's a town hall in one of the suburbs of Arlington that can get us in. President Bartlet even spoke there once, so we know they can handle the Secret Service and the crowd."

A shiver ran down Josh's spine even as Santos said, "Book it."

If someone had been looking closely at Josh, they could have noticed how tense his jaw got and how he lost quite a bit of the color in his face. If Leo hadn't been across the country he would have caught what the others missed.

"What's the suburb?"

"Rosslyn."

He hadn't been back. He hadn't been purposely avoiding it. He'd just never had the opportunity and didn't feel like going out of his way to do it. Besides, if he had to go back he sure as hell didn't want to go alone and the only person that he'd allow to go with him was off trying to get Bingo Bob elected.

He should have gone years ago. Stanley had told him that it would be good for him and would bring him some closure that he needed. Josh knew that if he'd asked Donna she would have gone with him in a second, but things had been so awkward between them since Gaza. He felt guilty for sending her and almost getting her killed. He felt pissed because she'd attached herself to a dashing photographer the first chance she got. Mostly, though, he felt hurt that she'd left him. He'd known that she wanted and needed to grow in her work, but he'd been selfish. She'd held him together after the shooting and he was so used to her now, he had been terrified what would happen if she'd not been in his life anymore. He'd avoided her so he wouldn't lose her and she'd left anyway.

Who knew that the Santos campaign would take him to the one place in the country that the very thought of it brought a flop sweat to him? What kind of crazy-ass odds were those? He should have said no. He should have vociferously protested and forced Edie to find a new town hall in a town where he hadn't nearly lost his life. He had been so shocked, by the time he could speak again, Edie had the hall booked and Congressman Santos had gone to his office to look over the additions to his stump speech.

Maybe he could make someone else go with the Congressman. Maybe he could get the flu. Maybe he'd quit and go back to fighting with senators and congressmen to get bills passed.

Jesus. Maybe he was being a chicken-shit and should suck it up and grow a set. It had been years and the scars, physical and emotional, were faded. How bad could it be? They'd be in and out and done with it and he'd move on. He'd concentrate on the speech and the message they needed to get out. That's all that mattered.

Maybe if he kept telling himself that for the next two days he'd believe it by the time they got to Rosslyn.

***The title is taken from Act I, scene 5 of _Hamlet_**

**I'm planning more for this. You know, Donna to the rescue and all the squishy stuff. Reviews are happiness. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews, you guys! I'm so pleased you're enjoying my story. I'll shut up now and get on with the Josh-ness. **

**Dislaimer: Still not mine, although I wouldn't object to borrowing Bradley Whitford for a while.**

Chapter 2

He was sweating so much! He had already changed his shirt twice today and it was only 50 degrees.

The Congressman came off stage and caught Josh pacing furiously.

"You OK, Josh? My speech wasn't that bad, was it?"

"No, Congressman, not at all. I'm just feeling a little on edge tonight."

"You're always on edge, Josh. I feel like I should have a doctor write you a prescription."

Josh smirked at him. "Yes, sir." As he guided the Congressman towards the door, he said, "We've got an early start in the morning, sir, so we should get you back to D.C." _And the sooner I'll be able to go home and have a really big glass of scotch_, Josh thought to himself.

The Secret Service surrounded them as they passed outside and Josh wondered if they were closer than usual or if it was just his pending panic attack making it feel that way. As they came closer to the place where he'd heard the shots fired all those years ago, Josh felt his stomach jump and resisted the urge to vomit into the bushes.

He couldn't stop himself from looking at the wall that he'd sat propped against, waiting for someone to help him, and a flash of red light from the motorcade made his traumatized brain think that his blood still coated the concrete.

The Congressman turned to have a word with his campaign manager only to see his eyes roll back and his knees collapse out from under him.

"Josh!"

He opened his eyes to the sight of paramedics and the sound of sirens and was terrified that he'd dreamt the last five years in a bullet-induced hallucination. Fortunately, a very worried congressman, Edie, Ned and Ronna came into focus and his world righted itself ever so slightly.

"They're taking you to the emergency room, Josh. You bashed your head pretty badly."

His stomach still heaved and, now that they mentioned it, his head throbbed too. Two burly paramedics started rolling the gurney he was on over to an ambulance and he struggled a bit. The déjà vu was more than he could handle.

As he passed by the Congressman he reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Call Donna."

"Russell's chicken fighter?"

"Yes… please."

Santos nodded and the EMT's loaded Josh into the back of the ambulance to take him to GW.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Sadly, they're still not mine. They belong to Aaron Sorkin and the Powers that Be.**

**Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! My head's getting big!**

Chapter 3

Donna was unpacking boxes. She was almost glad the Russell campaign was over, she was tired of living out of a suitcase. A part of her wanted to go ask Josh for a job and start the whole thing over again though. As soon as she'd heard that he'd gone to Texas and talked Congressman Santos into running, she knew he'd win. She had still worked hard for Russell, but her heart hadn't been fully in it. Even after all they'd been through and done to each other, she still loved Josh and missed him every day. Idly, she wondered what he was doing now.

The phone rang as she moved a stack of books back onto the shelf.

"Hello."

"Donna Moss?"

"Yes."

"This is Matt Santos."

She raised an eyebrow. "Good evening, Congressman. What can I do for you?"

"I… uh… I need to tell you… I've been asked to…"

"Yes?" Thank God he was more eloquent when giving speeches on education.

He sighed to himself. "My campaign made a stop today in Virginia. Josh was acting strange all day, but when we left the venue just now, he collapsed and hit his head on the sidewalk. The last thing he said to me before the medics took him to get stitched up was, 'Call Donna.' So, I am."

She had stood up when he mentioned Josh hitting his head and had grabbed her shoes when she heard the word 'medic' and had her keys in her hand ready to walk out the door when one other thing he said caught her ear and her memory. She had a very bad feeling about this. "Virginia?"

"Yes. Rosslyn."

Damn. What had possessed him? She knew he'd never been back. Had he really been that arrogant as to not tell anybody? "At the Newseum?"

"Yes."

"Oh, God." She wanted to scream at him for being a dumb-ass in one breath and comfort his scarred psyche in the next. "Did they take him to GW?"

"Yes."

"I'm on my way. Will you make sure the Secret Service knows? That was a problem last time."

His brow furrowed at that, but he assured her there would be no barrier to her entrance.

He opened his mouth to thank her, but she'd already hung up the phone.

Santos really didn't want to make the next call, but he knew it was necessary. The man thought of Josh like a son, but maybe he could get some light shed on the situation. It was time to call Leo.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Thanks to all of you who have alerted and reviewed this story! I realize that the premise of Santos et al. not knowing or remembering about the shooting in Rosslyn is far-fetched. I ask you to suspend your disbelief for a brief time. I just thought it would be an interesting scenario for Josh to be in and wanted to explore it.**

**I'm not medically trained so please forgive any medical mumbo-jumbo that I've gotten wrong.**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

Chapter 4

Josh flinched as they taped the gauze over his clotted head wound. He was pissed that he'd gotten blood all over this shirt. It was one of his favorites. They'd told him to rest for at least 24 hours and some poor fool was going to have to wake him up every hour for the rest of the night to make sure he didn't slip into a coma. He sighed. This day couldn't possibly get worse.

The congressman was still lurking around the hospital somewhere, wanting to make sure Josh got safely home. Santos had made everybody else leave. Josh was relieved as this spared him a tiny bit of dignity. _Right_, he thought, _because bashing your head open on the sidewalk after fainting left tons of manly honor behind it._

…

"McGarry."

"Thank God, Leo. Something weird has happened." A glimmer of memory plucked at Congressman Santos' mind, but he couldn't quite catch it.

"You're going to have to give me a little more than that, Congressman."

"We were working a campaign stop in Virginia tonight and Josh got paler and paler and eventually passed out. He's got a pretty good gash on his head and he's still a little out of it—"

"Virginia? Where?"

"Rosslyn."

"Damn. What the hell possessed him?"

"Leo, what's going on?"

"Remember when President Bartlet was shot five years ago?"

And suddenly it all came flooding back to him: the questions, the fear, the waiting. He had a flash of a massive vigil outside of George Washington hospital. It had been for the President, but it had also been for his Deputy Chief of Staff.

"Oh, my God. Why didn't he remind us?" He was furious with himself for not making the connection.

"He probably thought he could handle it… and he's an idiot." Leo felt a twinge of fear for the man he thought of as a son. "Do you need me to come-?"

"No, Leo, you've got work to do there and I have a feeling we're about to have some serious reinforcements here. Before they loaded Josh into the ambulance, he asked me to call Donna. I'm not sure he remembers it now, but she's on her way to GW."

A small smile grew on Leo McGarry's face as he wished he could be a fly on the wall for the meeting of the two old friends. This was another one he should sell tickets to.

…

She peeked around the doorway, unsure of herself. Granted, he had asked for her, but she had no clue what she could do for him. He looked shaken, which went against almost every Josh-as-arrogant-pitbull memory that she had. The only other times she'd seen him this way were when he'd first woken up after the shooting and the next Christmas when the sky had fallen. She wanted to hug him to her, soothe him, and never let go.

"Miss Moss?"

She turned to see Congressman Santos walking up behind her. "Congressman."

"You really should call me Matt. After all, I did sit on you."

She smiled. "Then I'm Donna. How's Josh?"

"Still a little shaky. They want someone to keep an eye on him during the night. He's got a slight concussion. I just got off the phone with Leo and he explained the situation to me. I wish Josh had said something. I never would have made him go back."

Donna put a comforting hand on his arm. "Don't worry about it. Josh has always thought he was invincible. It's good for him to be reminded occasionally that he's not."

Despite the fact that they hadn't been on good terms for quite a while now, she could still feel Josh's presence on the other side of the wall, pulling her closer. She turned and glanced at the door to his room.

"With you at his side, Donna, he'll be just fine."

"I appreciate your vote of confidence, sir."

"He's missed you, you know. I haven't learned too much about him outside of work, but I do know that." He nudged her towards the door. "Talk to him."

She took a deep breath and took the plunge.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry it's taken me so long to update this story, but I've had some serious writer's block. It's ironic, really, since I'm finally up to the Josh and Donna stuff. Anyway, on with the motley…**

A whiff of lavender made Josh open his eyes. His head hurt like a mother, but seeing her standing in the doorway almost took the pain away.

"Joshua."

His mind was a void and the only thing he could think to say was, "Donna."

She stepped inside and crossed to him so slowly. His eyes followed her every inch of the way. God, he missed her.

"How's your head?"

"Achy. My pride's more hurt than my skull is."

She sighed. "Why didn't you say anything, Josh? You know they would have found a different venue in a heartbeat. Were you trying to be brave and manly? Were you trying to impress the congressman? He already thinks you can walk on water."

Josh closed his eyes. "I just thought it was a sign from the universe that it was time to go back and get the closure Stanley always told me I needed…. I was wrong. It was everything I was afraid of. I couldn't stop myself from seeing everything that happened that night. I saw the lights, I heard the sirens, I felt the bullet tearing through my chest, I felt the terror and the confusion…" His breathing was getting out of control and she laid a calming hand on his shoulder. After a few deep breaths, he was regaining some of his peace. He opened his eyes and met her gaze. "I made a mistake."

She just nodded. As far as she was concerned, he had learned his lesson and she was ready to forgive him for his idiocy. "We should get you something to eat. Am I right that someone needs to wake you up every hour all night?"

"Yeah."

"I'll take that delightful task on myself after we've fed you. Have you been taking your pills?"

"Umm…"

"That's a big, fat 'No.' We'll stop at the pharmacy on our way out. You need a keeper, Josh," she said, with a slight smirk.

"I had one once, but she went off to bigger and better things."

This stopped her and she glanced at him sharply then examined her shoes. "I had to, Josh—"

"I know. I hated it then and still hate it now… but I know." He took her hand in his. "You needed more and I was a selfish ass and I wouldn't give it to you." She smiled a little at his succinct summarization. A thought zipped through his head. "If I remember correctly, you're out of a job at the moment."

"Thanks to you, yes, that's true."

"I don't suppose you'd want to come and work for the Santos campaign?" he asked hesitantly. "You've done a marvelous job with Russell's campaign; just think what you could do with a real candidate." He shot one dimple her way and she failed at concealing her own smile.

"I won't be your keeper, Josh," she said, knowing that if she went to work for Santos, she would gladly help Josh take better care of himself. But she didn't want Josh to just throw her back into her old position and forget about everything they'd been through.

He held up both hands. "No, Donna. You're worth so much more than that. You'd contribute ideas and policy and have an active part in the campaign. Leo'd kick my ass if I tried anything less…. Oh, shit! Leo!"

Donna stopped him as he grabbed his cell phone. "The Congressman talked to him a while ago and told him what happened."

"So, he's going to kick my ass anyway for not telling anyone about tonight."

"I won't let him. I'm the only one who gets to kick your ass."

She took his arm to guide him out of the hospital room. After they'd signed his discharge papers and picked up his prescriptions, they made their way out to catch a cab. Donna called Santos and told him she was taking Josh to get some food and some rest and that he'd be in to the office in the morning.

"Take good care of him, Donna."

"I plan to, sir."

She hung up and glanced at Josh's face. He looked more peaceful than she'd seen him in weeks and wondered that he could be so calm after the turmoil of the night.

"You seem very content for a man who's bashed his head open."

He smiled at her. Both dimples came out and her knees went slightly weak. "Yeah. I'm not sure why that is. I suppose I've passed my trial-by-fire and come out cleansed on the other side." _And my guardian angel's come back to me_, he thought.

"You're a strange man, Joshua. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. Thanks for coming tonight, by the way." They slid into the cab that had stopped at Donna's hail.

"You needed me," she said simply.

"Yes," was his only answer.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Yes, they're still not mine. I suppose they still belong to Aaron Sorkin, even if he did abandon** **them…**

"Wake up, Josh." She nudged him on the shoulder.

He grumbled and pulled the covers over his head.

"Don't be such a baby, Joshua. You should be used to this process by now, since we've done it six times already."

Josh yanked the blanket back down and glared at the woman standing over him. "You're getting a kick out of this, aren't you?"

"Yeah, Josh. Missing a night's sleep so I can listen to your bitching on the hour, every hour, is just what I wanted to do with my night." Donna rolled her eyes at him and marveled at how easily their habitual banter came back to them.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. "What time is it?"

"4 am."

"God." And the blanket went back over his head.

Donna went back to Josh's living room and sank into the couch yet again. She hadn't been kidding about not getting any sleep. Each time she drifted off, the alarm on her cell phone would alert her to wake Josh up again. Instead, she had ransacked his bookshelf and found a copy of _Jane Eyre_. How the hell did Josh come to have a copy of that? She opened it again, just as she heard the pad of his footsteps behind her.

"Josh, why do you have a copy of _Jane Eyre_?"

"You told me it was your favorite book one day and I figured I should read it?" She watched him, shocked, as he passed into the kitchen for a glass of water. She couldn't believe he remembered that!

"What did you think of it?"

"I tried to read it, but never got past the first ten pages." His voice was muffled by the fridge and she rolled her eyes again. "Tell me what it's about." He sat next to her on the couch and looked genuinely interested. He was probably faking it, but she told him anyway.

"Jane is sent to school by her aunt. The school master is harsh and cruel and fueled by religious fanaticism. Her best friend dies when they're both quite young and, eventually, Jane applies to be a governess. Her pupil is a little girl named Adele and…"

Josh's eyes had gone glassy about one sentence into her explanation and she decided she needed something to snap him out of it. "It's about a woman who's lost and falls in love with her boss."

Donna watched his face clear, watched him chew on this for a few minutes, and saw a sparkle in his eyes she hadn't seen since long before Gaza.

He cleared his throat. "Maybe, maybe I should give it another shot." He glanced down at his fingers fidgeting on his glass. "Does her boss fall in love with her too?"

She smirked at him and said, "Read it and find out."

Josh looked at her very cautiously and said, "I wasn't kidding last night… about you coming to work for the campaign."

"I know, Josh, but we're going to have to lay some very specific ground rules if that's going to happen."

"Such as?"

"I will not be your assistant."

He saw the fire in her eyes and was amazed at the strength in her. It was so different from all those years ago in Manchester. He nodded. "Agreed. I was thinking you could work as one of our media liaisons. You've done really great work on that with Russell. I'd apologize to you for the chicken incident, but you handled it so beautifully it made everybody aware of just what you're capable of."

A small smile crossed her lips. "I didn't even realize the damn cameras were there, I was so pissed off at you." The smile faded. "I've spent a lot of time pissed at you in the last year."

Josh nodded. "And I deserved it. I know it. The day that you quit… I had felt it coming and, somehow in my delusional brain, it came to me that if I didn't let you talk to me and have that meeting, then you couldn't quit. I realized, long before that, that you'd outgrown your job. I wanted to keep you around for completely selfish reasons." He looked in her blue eyes then and knew that he had to tell her the truth. All of it. "You made me, Donna. You held me together when nothing else did. You became the rock that I relied so heavily on. I had gotten to the point that you were so well integrated into my work life and my personal life that I didn't want to do it without you, couldn't bear to do it without you. You deserved so much more and I held you back so that you'd keep holding me together. I offered you the trip to Gaza as something that I hoped would appease you and maybe give you another avenue in the West Wing. After the explosion, I felt so damn guilty that it had been my idea for you to go there! It was Joanie all over again."

She took his hand. "Damn it, Josh. You know that neither one of them were your fault! The person who set the bomb was at fault for Gaza, Josh, not you…. And you did come to Germany. I was so happy to see you there. When I woke up and nothing else was certain, you were there next to me and I was able to relax just a little bit. And before they took me into surgery for the pulmonary embolism, there was nothing I wanted more than to see your face and for you to tell me that everything was going to be OK."

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cushion. "When the doctor told me what it was, I had this flash of the Illinois primary and my dad."

Donna had known that it would have crossed his mind. How could it not? "God. It's taken us so long to talk this out. What the hell's wrong with us?"

A dimple appeared on his cheek. "Can I ask you one last question?"

"Sure."

"Why Russell?"

She sighed. "Josh, he's not the idiot everyone has made him out to be. He may not be the genius, Nobel-prize-winning economist that President Bartlet is, but he's not the embodiment of Satan either. And, you have to admit, he's better than John Hoynes."

"Barely."

"You know… if you had told me about Congressman Santos and what you were planning, I might have come with you; especially, if you'd given me a substantive role to play in the campaign."

Josh sighed. "I was still trying to talk him into running. He really didn't want to and, when he finally agreed to, he told me I had to be his campaign manager." He opened his eyes. "Since I didn't have anything holding me to the White House anymore, I accepted his offer. And now, I'm offering you a substantive role in the campaign. Do you have any other stipulations?"

"I like the idea of media liaison. I've gotten comfortable with that now. I suppose my only other stipulation is that if you start yelling at me, I get to yell right back at you." She grinned at him.

"Oh, that goes without saying."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Author's Note: I'm so glad there are still some people out there waiting for the next bit to this story! So, this is for you guys who have messaged me and egged me on. Well done!**

**Disclaimer: They're still not mine. If they were mine, Josh would always have his sleeves rolled up and messy hair. Mmm….**

Sunlight pouring through the window pulled Donna out of sleep the next morning and she turned her face into her pillow to try and thwart the wakefulness. Her pillow smelled awfully good and was all warm and soft. She'd just sleep for another few minutes, after all she didn't have to go to work….

Wait. Her pillow moved ever-so-slightly too.

She lifted her head and peered up at a bandaged and barely-snoring Josh Lyman. He looked so peaceful when he slept. What would all those bullied congressmen and senators say if they could see him now? If she was very careful, she could snap a picture of him with her cell phone and keep it for blackmail purposes the next time Josh was a jackass. Just as she started to reach for it, a pair of brown eyes popped open.

"Don't even think about taking a picture of me, Donnatella."

She gave him an innocent smile and said, "Would I do such a thing?"

He gave an ungraceful snort. "Absolutely, but the next time I'm a jackass all you have to do is remind me about last night."

He had a point.

She pulled herself off his very nice t-shirt-clad chest and said, "You go take your shower and I'll make us a quick breakfast. How does your head feel?"

"It's a little sore, but nothing a couple of Advil won't cure."

She pulled her head out of his desolate fridge. "Good. We have to grab breakfast on the way to the office because you have no food, Joshua. When was the last time you went to the store?"

He stood up and stretched and she tried not to watch the expanse of skin that was revealed when his t-shirt pulled up a bit.

"I don't know. Maybe a week ago." More like a month.

"I'm throwing away this carton of milk… unless you're keeping it for your first born's science fair project."

"Whatever. Can I get my bandage wet or do I have to take a shower with a plastic bag over my head?"

Donna rolled her eyes and dumped the mystery Chinese food too. "You can get it wet, I just have to re-bandage it after you're done."

Josh rolled his eyes at her back and moved to the shower.

An hour later, they both walked into Santos' headquarters. Josh ignored the glances thrown his way and Donna simply smiled at the eyes she caught. It had taken them a little longer to get into the office because they'd had to stop past Donna's apartment so she could pick up some clothes.

Josh dropped his backpack on his desk and grabbed her hand to pull her into the congressman's office.

"Josh, I'm so glad you're OK. Why the hell didn't you-?"

"I'm sorry, sir. We made the arrangements so quickly and I thought I could handle it and… I was mistaken. I apologize."

"You don't have to apologize Josh, I'm just glad that it was only a crack to the skull you came away with. How are you feeling?"

"Well, poor Donna had to wake me up all night, so that was a special treat."

Donna slapped his arm and the congressman looked at her stunned.

"Yes, Joshua, I woke you up to make sure you didn't slip into a coma. Clearly, I should have left you to your own dumb-ass devices."

Matt Santos had liked Donna Moss before this, but now she held an all new level of respect in his eyes. Anyone who could handle Josh, even on a good day, was something miraculous indeed. Now that Bob Russell was out of the running, he knew she needed a job too. Maybe they could keep around…

"Sir, one of the reasons I've brought Donna with me this morning is that I thought she would be a _valuable_ asset to our media people." As Josh said "valuable" in that way he glanced back at Donna pointedly. The corners of her lips twitched and she laid a hand on his shoulder. _Curiouser and curiouser_, Santos thought to himself.

"I think that's a marvelous idea, Josh. Why don't you get Donna settled and then I have a few questions about some additions to the stump speech I'd like to make. But Josh—" Josh stopped his approach to the door. "I don't want you working too hard today. I want you out of here by five at the latest."

Josh grumbled at that, but nodded. He turned back to the congressman one last time. "Sir, how much does the staff…?"

"We figured out the details pretty quick, Josh; after my memory was jogged by a certain ex-Chief of Staff." Josh winced. "Yeah, you'll have to deal with him when he gets back today. He was mad, Josh, but he was also very worried about you."

Josh smiled a little and nodded. "Yeah."

"Go take care of Donna, Josh."

"Thanks."

**Stuff to Look Forward To: Leo's return, the staff getting to watch Donna deal with Josh, a phone call to Stanley (probably from Josh, but maybe from Donna too), and (I'm hoping) some smoochy stuff, eventually. Any other requests?**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: If they were mine, Simon Donovan would be alive and well. (Can I just say that Mark Harmon in a tux is very nice indeed? There, I just did.)**

"Well, isn't this a sight for sore eyes?"

Donna glanced up into the sparkling eyes of Leo McGarry and jumped to her feet.

"Hey, Leo," she said as he gave her a hug.

"How are you doin', kid?"

"Short on sleep, but great other than that. I've got myself a new job."

"So I see. I'm thrilled to hear it. You'll whip those damned reporters into shape and keep Josh in check too."

Donna smirked as Leo glanced towards Josh's office. When he looked back, his face was concerned. "How is he?"

"A little bruised, physically and emotionally. I'm going to suggest to him that he call Stanley Keyworth later today. Actually, I'm just going to call Stanley later today and hand Josh the phone."

Leo nodded. "Yeah, that's a better plan. Then he can't back out of it. When I heard what he had done…"

"Oh, I know. I felt the same, but then I thought of how it must have been for him and saw him with the bandage on his hard head. You know I can't stay mad at Josh for very long, Leo. I never could."

"You and me both, kid." He laid a hand on her arm. "I'm glad you're here… for all of us."

She smiled at Josh's surrogate father. "Me too."

"Do you mind if I go tell him what for?"

Donnas smile widened. "Nope."

"Josh, you're an idiot."

"Welcome back, Leo."

"Thanks. Did you hear me before?"

"Yes, Leo. My ear drums didn't fall out when I smacked my head last night so, yes, I heard you."

Leo just stared at the idiot in front of him until Josh realized how very quiet it was. He glanced up at Leo and saw the stern look on his mentors face.

"Seriously, Leo, I know how moronic it was. Everybody has told me how moronic it was. My head aches like a bitch every time I almost forget how moronic it was. All I'm saying is, 'What's next?'"

Leo eyed Josh for a little bit longer and nodded in acceptance.

"OK, fine, but I want you out of here by six."

"The congressman said five," Josh said with a little of his old arrogance.

Leo's mouth twitched. "Fine. Five it is." He glanced over his shoulder. "So, you've pulled Donna into another crazy campaign."

"We need her, Leo."

"We need her or _you_ need her?"

"That was a pretty straightforward question for a man who is renowned for being ambiguous, Leo."

"Maybe I think you've screwed around long enough and should admit how important she is to you." When Josh just examined his tie, Leo went on. "You lost her once already and I remember how miserable you were. I can call Toby and C.J. and they'll remember too. When you fell apart last night, Josh, she was the one you called. You knew you needed her after the emotional upheaval you had." Josh still said nothing. "Just think about it."

As Leo trailed out of his office, it occurred to Josh that he'd thought of little else since he'd woken up with Donna in his arms this morning. He just wondered if it was too soon after their reconciliation to do anything about it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Disclaimer: Oh so not mine. If only.**

"Josh Lyman."

"Hi, Josh."

"Stanley…" Damn, he should have known this was coming.

"I heard about your… adventure last night and wanted to see how you are."

"Donna called you, didn't she?"

"She's concerned for you, Josh."

"Yeah, I know. It was stupid. The Congressman set it up so quickly, I didn't have a chance to object. Leo was on the other side of the country, and afterwards… I didn't think it was going to be a thing. I thought I'd be able to breathe through it… and I couldn't have been more wrong. Everything was almost exactly like it was that night. The motorcade was there with the flashing lights, the barricades were set up for the crowd, and it all came rushing back to me. I passed out and bashed my head open on the sidewalk. It was very dignified."

"Josh."

"I know. I'm deflecting emotion with humor. Sorry."

"Keep going."

"I was conscious enough to ask the Congressman to call Donna. They took me to the ER and stitched up my head. Donna ripped me a new one and took me home. She got the delightful task of waking me up every hour all night long to make sure I didn't slip into a coma. This morning I offered her a job."

"I see. Well, Josh, it may have been a supremely stupid thing to think you could do this alone, but in the long run I think the experience will help you along the healing process. It would have been better if you'd taken it more slowly and gone with someone who could help you through it, but you've always done things the way you wanted to. I'm glad you had the thought to call Donna. She helped you through the aftermath of the shooting and she'll also be able to help you through the aftermath of this. Keep her close to you, Josh. She's good for you."

"Yes, she is…. Would it be weird if I asked her out?"

A huge pause came from the other end of the phone. Finally a sarcastic voice said, "Yes, Josh, it would be weird for you to ask out the woman that you've been in love with for years. What a crazy idea. I'd have to have you committed if you performed such a heretical act."

"Thank you, Dr. Smart-Ass…. Hey, how did you know I'm in love with her?"

"Please, Josh. Everybody knows. Ask anyone still remaining in the West Wing or many people out of it. I should tell you, everyone also knows that she's in love with you too. The only people who don't know are you and Donna."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, Josh."

"Huh."

"Yes, I can see that 760 Verbal SAT score now. Maybe I can call someone and have that adjusted."

"Goodbye, Stanley!"

"Take care, Josh."

"Thanks. Seriously, Stanley… thank you."

"You're welcome, Josh."

"There's a phone call for you, Josh."

"Oh? Who?"

"President Bartlet."

"Shit!"

"Josh!"

"This is bad. This is very bad. He's gonna yell." He ran his hand through his already disheveled hair.

"He should yell, Joshua. You were stupid," Donna said, as if it were obvious.

"When are people gonna stop saying that?"

"Not quite yet, Pumpkin."

"Did you just call me Pumpkin?" He smirked behind her back.

"Stop smirking and pick up the damn phone." He picked it up.

"Good afternoon, Mr. President."

"What in the hell were you thinking, Josh?"

"You know, Sir, if I'd known the reaming I was going to get today, I never would have gone to Rosslyn last night."

"Well, I want you to talk to Stanley, Josh."

"Don't worry, Sir. Donna already sicced him on me. He also told me I was an idiot and that, even with the moronic way I handled things, it should help me heal a bit more."

"I'm glad to hear that, Josh. I'm also glad to hear that Donna has joined your band of merry men."

"Yes, Sir. She's our new media liaison. She'll be great."

"For you and the campaign, I should think." He'd clearly been talking to Leo. "I should warn you, Josh, Abby's going to call you sometime today too, so you'd better be ready for her."

Josh shuddered. "Yes, sir."

"Take care of yourself, Josh, or I'll have Donna kick your ass."

"She'll do it voluntarily, Mr. President."

"She's a good girl. You'd better take better care of her this time around… or _I'll_ kick your ass."

"Under stood, sir."

Josh glared at Donna after he hung up the phone. "Did he call us or did you call him?"

Donna smiled innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about. It's almost five. You should get out of here before the congressman or Leo catches you."

"Have dinner with me."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Do you mean dinner dinner, or _dinner_ dinner?"

"Your eloquence knows no bounds, Donnatella. I mean the latter."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Her lips twitched into a smile and one of his dimples came out to play. He had seen that same smile when he offered to put her on a stamp.

"OK."

"Get your purse and we'll go."

After she left his office his smile turned into a full-on shit-eating grin. He really was da man!


	10. Chapter 10

Did I mention that they're not mine? Hey, look, I just did.

**Chapter 10**

Donna was just stealing the last French fry off his plate when his cell phone rang for the millionth time that day.

Josh caught Donna's slight smirk as he answered the phone. "Josh Lyman."

"Josh."

Donna watched as Josh's eyes bugged out of his head and he started to sweat.

"Hello, Ma'am."

"I know my husband has already talked to you, Josh, but I just wanted to check for myself that you're all right."

Josh cleared his throat. "Yes, Ma'am. I'm fine. Thank you. I talked to Stanley Keyworth too."

"Excellent. And you're going to take good care of Donna, aren't you?"

Josh nodded his head furiously, which the First Lady couldn't see.

"_Aren't you_, Josh?"

"Yes! Yes, Ma'am. I'm going to take very good care of her. I'm having dinner with her right now, in fact. She's eating her vegetables and everything."

"Don't push it, Josh. Break her heart and I'll kick your ass."

"Yes, Ma'am. But you'll have to get in line."

The line disconnected and he looked at Donna with slightly glassy eyes. "Wow."

"After the President called, I figured she couldn't be very far behind."

He shuddered and picked up his beer.

Leo kicked them out of the office again the next day, but neither argued very much. They were enjoying each other's company too much and Josh's head was still twinging a bit.

As they walked along the Mall, Josh asked, "Donna, would you do me a huge favor?"

"I don't have the school uniform anymore, Josh."

"Funny, but I was thinking of something else."

"Yes?"

"Stanley told me today that I should have taken someone with me to Rosslyn and I was thinking that—"

She stopped dead. "Oh, God, Josh, I don't know if I can handle—"

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I keep thinking that if we go in the middle of the day when absolutely nothing looks like it did that night and if you're there to keep me grounded then maybe I can look at it without falling down and making an ass of myself."

She sighed. "This is really important, isn't it?"

He nodded soberly. "Yeah, it is."

Damn it. "I'm gonna need a drink when we're done. Do you want to do it now?"

"If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly."

"You really want to quote _Macbeth _before we do this?"

"Yeah, I guess not. Don't let me chicken out of this, OK? This is something I need to do, no matter what I say when we get there."

"All right. But if you pass out again, try to land somewhere soft."

"Done."

_Next time: Back to Rosslyn. Maybe the end? We'll see._


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: I've been avoiding writing this chapter. I've read so many stories that start out well and then flop at the end. Here's hoping that I avoid that. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed and favorite this story, I'm grateful and flattered.**

**Disclaimer: They're very much not mine and they never have been.**

Chapter 11

Donna shook her head. This was absolutely going to suck. There was no way around it. A big bottle of whiskey was waiting at Josh's apartment for their return later tonight. They were both going to need very large drinks.

Josh sighed.

They were in a cab on their way to Virginia and the Newseum. She had Stanley on speed dial. She had tried to plan for every eventuality she could think of, but her nerves were still on a knife's edge.

Josh sighed again.

She turned to eye his tense face. "Are you OK?"

"Not really, but I'll be fine."

She didn't know what to do other than nod. He slipped his hand into hers and they both felt the tiniest bit better.

The cab slid to a stop and Josh's hand tightened enough to leave a bruise behind.

"You told me not to let you change your mind."

His eyes flicked to hers. "And I meant it."

"OK. Let's do it."

Josh opened his door and Donna paid the cabby and moved across the seat to follow him out.

Once the cab had returned to the flow of traffic, Donna took Josh's hand again. "Where to?" she asked.

He took a few deep breaths and pulled her up the stairs to where Toby had found him that night. Might as well get it over with.

The sun shone down as she followed him. He stopped and stared at a low cement wall. She watched him as he tried to stay in the present with her and not fall back into his vivid memories. "Josh?"

"I couldn't move," he whispered. His fists were white-knuckled and sweat trickled between his shoulder blades. "I knew I needed to get help, but I just couldn't move. Toby found me."

Donna wrapped her arms around his arm, trying to anchor him, and let him continue.

"It had all happened so fast. One minute everything was just as it should have been and the next—All hell broke loose. People were shouting, gunshots were going off everywhere. I just thought I'd been bumped by someone, because I didn't feel the pain right away. When I finally did… I was so scared, Donna. So scared…."

She laid a hand on his cheek and turned him to face her.

"Thank God for Toby."

He gave her a tiny smile. "Yes. After he found me, it's all a big blur. The next thing I knew, I woke up with the President and Leo standing over me."

"Toby was the one who told me, you know?"

He was shocked. He didn't think he'd ever talked to her about what she'd been through that night. When he'd woken up, she's been completely focused on his recovery and maintaining her strict rules. He was ashamed that he'd never thought of what hell it must have been for her.

"No, I didn't."

She nodded. "I was at home and saw on the news that there were shots fired. I drove to the emergency room, but I had forgotten my ID so I had to find a secret service agent who knew me so they'd let me in. When I found everyone in the waiting room, the surgeon had just come to tell them that the President was going to be fine. I was so relieved, I can't even tell you." She took a deep breath. "That was when Toby told me that you'd been hit. At first I didn't understand, or didn't want to understand, and I said, 'With what?'" She laughed, but it was without any real humor. "He said you'd been shot. I asked him if it was serious and he replied that it was critical. The doctor kept on talking, but I didn't hear anything after that. I was in shock."

Josh wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Oddly, listening to her experience of that night made his own and this place easier to deal with. All he wanted was to comfort her and it distanced him from the memories. He moved her over to the wall so she could sit down.

"I don't know how long I sat there. Mrs. Bartlet tried to get me to go home, but I wouldn't. I couldn't, not until I knew that you were going to be OK. She got the doctor to let me in to observation so I could watch while they worked on you."

"God, Donna. You shouldn't have seen that." He was desperately moved that she'd been there, but he also couldn't believe the strength it took to look on while someone you knew was being cut apart.

"I needed to, Josh! What if it was the last chance I got to see you alive? You'd always needed me before, how could you not have needed me then?"

The sheer heart of this woman who had worked by his side for years astounded him. He took hold of her shoulders and met her eyes straight on. "I did need you. I'll always need you. I'll—" _Say it, Lyman. Tell her you love her! She gave you the perfect opening! Grow a set!_ "I'll always _love_ you."

Her blue eyes got very large at this. "You—you will?"

"Forever."

He watched as the blue was covered in a sheen of tears. A look of panic crossed his face. "Oh God, Donna, please don't cry."

She shoved at his shoulders. "When the man you've been in love with for years tells you he'll love you forever, you're fully allowed to cry, Joshua!"

"You've been in love with me for years?" A dimple appeared.

"Yes, you moron!"

"When did you realize?" he said, looking more and more smug by the moment.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I realized when I was standing in observation for an operating room, faced with the very real possibility of never hearing you shout my name again."

The smugness vanished. He held her close and whispered against her ear. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Donnatella."

She slid her fingers into the curly hair at the base of his neck, as she'd longed to do for years. "You're here now. That's all that matters."

Josh finally moved back just far enough to move his hand up to her cheek. He had talked about "these women" to the President and Leo once and now here she was in his arms. He was the luckiest man in the universe because she loved him. After all the asshole things he had done and everything they'd been through, _she still loved him_. He leaned in closer and brought his lips to hers in a long overdue kiss.

Donna made a slight hum and fully leaned in to him. He tasted of coffee and the mint he'd sucked on in the cab and something else that was just… Josh.

When they finally broke apart, they smiled at each other and looked around themselves at the scene of one of the worst nights of their lives. They had a new memory that could start to push out the old ones. They were done here. Josh stood up and offered Donna his hand.

"Lunch?" he asked as he pulled her to her feet.

"Mmm, yeah. I'm starving."

"Me too. Are you going to steal all my fries?"

"Of course, Josh. Anyway, you really shouldn't eat them. You should have a salad."

"You know I hate salads."

"Yeah, I know. Maybe you could compromise and have a sandwich with lettuce and tomato on it."

"But I can have fries too?"

"Well, _I'm_ going to eat them."

"Why don't you order your own fries?"

"Because I eat yours."

Josh sighed, but this time there was no tension to it at all. "Donna?" he pulled her to a stop.

"Yeah."

"That night… on your way to the emergency room… did you stop for red lights?"

She smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Nope."

He smiled and kept walking.

She wrapped an arm around his waist and smiled up at him. "So… what's next?"

**Author's note: So there it is! I hope you all enjoyed it! Thanks for sticking with me.**


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